In his latest attempt to secure a spot on the after-dinner circuit, once he's managed every under-performing club in the Football League, Ian Holloway once again prattled on relentlessly with some tortured analogy in an effort to cover up his own managerial shortcomings, following Blackpool's 2-0 defeat at the hands of Bristol City.Speaking in the Ashton Gate press room, weasel-faced tedious yokel, Holloway, 46 said, "Conceding two goals to Bristol City is a bit like being a pig farmer yanking off one of his stock. You know it's coming, but you're dreading it really."
Holloway, who sounds a bit like a dim-witted bumpkin trying to do some sort of awful half-arsed Eric Cantona impersonation, laboured on, "We came here thinking we could pull it off successfully, but we lost our grip on a powerful beast and it ended up slipping through our fingers."
Asked if he felt that his players had under-performed on the night, Holloway responded, "Hang on... Trying to think of something to do with swine flu to tie in with the pig thing...
Got it... It's a bit like when your pigs get swine flu. You know they're going to be ill but you still know the bacon will be nice at the end of it.. No, that doesn't really work... It's a bit like when a... Hello? Where's everyone gone? Come back. I am funny. I am funny, aren't I, Karl? Karl?"
Look out for more from Ian Holloway later this week, when he's expected to compare his club's home game against Plymouth on Saturday with sitting on a small horse. Or something.
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Liked his "chances of my team scoring were about as great as a blind-folded donkey kicking a banjo over Weston-super-Donkey pier".
ReplyDeleteBut you could tell underneath a brilliant mind effortlessly creating surrealist metaphors was a seething gashead eaten up with jealousy for City and GJ.