Anti-Tesco Campaigners 'Just Like Complaining About Stuff', Survey Reveals

Campaigners opposed to the construction of a Tesco superstore on the current site of Bristol City's Ashton Gate stadium 'just like complaining about stuff' a survey has today revealed.

BERATE, which is an acronym for Bedminster Residents Against Tescos Expansion Into Ashton Gate (well, it isn't, but you can only have so many meetings trying to think up a clever name before you have to give it up as a bad job and go with some hackneyed effort. And, let's be honest 'BRATEIG' isn't particularly catchy) is, essentially, a collection of people who think their window is missing something if it doesn't have some poorly written, badly photocopied piece of A4 sellotaped to the front window, protesting about something or other.

This Be Brizzle's exclusive survey has shown that a number of the people involved have nothing better to do to fill their days than get involved in a campaign about something, and enjoy nothing better than a good old moan. We spoke to one local resident, who wished to remain anonymous, and he told us, "They's alluz complainin' about summat, binnum."

Local protestors, who have recently been involved in such unsuccessful campaigns as 'Say No To Parking Anywhere Near My House Even Though I've Converted My Front Garden To Parking Without The Necessary Consent', 'Say No To New Housing That I Can See If I Crane My Neck Out Of My Velux Window' and 'Change Is Bad', are likely to witter on about a new Tesco somehow increasing traffic in the area and yet somehow, at the same time, decreasing the number of people becoming aware of the shops on North Street, without really bothering to do any specific research to back up their ramblings. It's also understood they'll bang on about the environment, again without really providing any evidence, because it's quite a fashionable thing to do these days.

Anyone interested in joining this bunch of perennial complainers and sampling their joyless existence, can attend their meetings every Thursday evening from 8pm in The Full Moon pub, North Street. Though this is likely to change in the near future, as those involved want to take advantage of the convenience of the late night shopping that a new Tesco superstore will provide.