Banksy Back In Town

Local hide and seek champion, and part-time painter and decorator, 'Banksy', has undertaken his most ambitious project yet in his home town of Bristol.

The staunch Bristol City fan, who recently had his work inaccurately peppered with shots of blue paint, possibly by Lewis Haldane, has shocked the red half of the city, by teaming up with the North Bristol club to produce his latest work "No Ball Games", the title of which appears in trademark stencil font across the painted 'pitch'.

The work, which measures 120 metres by 85 metres, depicts how a half-decent stadium would look on the current site of Bristol Rovers' home ground, the Memorial Stadium, which the football club stole from Bristol Rugby Club in 1998, having previously lived as cuckoos in neighbouring Bath.

Bristol Rovers director, Geoff Dunford, who is also a director of N-Gaged, the company which won a draw to be the club's shirt sponsors in a completely random draw that was in no way fixed, said, "Let's be honest, the new ground is never actually going to be built, so we agreed to buy the spray paint for Banksy in the hope that some London idiot will pay us a lot of money for it, before realising it's pretty worthless, because it's sprayed on the ground."

The cost of the spray paint was £10,000, but Dunford continued, "We've held a lottery to cover the cost of the paint and the winner will own a 10% share in the artwork. I've bought six tickets and the draw will be held once those six balls have been in the freezer long enough for Eddie Large to be able to feel the temperature difference through his white gloves."

Asked if Rovers will continue to play on the giant painting, Dunford added, "Banksy assures us the paint is highly durable and has a lovely finish, which is something our fans haven't seen for many years."

There were suggestions that Banksy would be painting fans in the stands to give the look of a crowd, but Dunford rubbished these claims saying, "That's something that was circulated by the press, but it was dismissed early on, when none of us could remember what a crowd looked like."

"We did, however, initially get Banksy to draw 11 players on the pitch, but we had to get him to spray over them after they beat our first team 3-0 in a pre-season friendly."