Basso - God Made Me Do It

Adriano Basso today revealed the reason he handed in a transfer request just two weeks before the start of Bristol City's 09/10 campaign.

Speaking exclusively to anyone who could be bothered to listen to the bible-bashing shot-stopper, the Brazilian said, "God told me to do it and, once the big guy tells you to formally hand in a written transfer request to Gary Johnson, you don't hang about."

The sky-pointing Dean Gerken understudy continued, "One of the seven deadly sins is 'Greed', so I was surprised when God said I should turn down the opportunity to become Bristol City's highest paid player and instead leave for somewhere else as yet undecided, but what can you do? You don't get to be God by making bad decisions, so my hands were tied."

God, who was unavailable for comment, is also believed to have been involved in stamping on Stephen Henderson's metatarsal and tweaking Dean Gerken's thigh, as well as delaying Gary Johnson's efforts to bring in a loanee 'keeper, by inflicting injuries on the other goalies at another unnamed club, in a failed attempt to put his man in the shop-window at Preston North End.

Speaking about his hopes of attracting interest from a Premier League club, Basso said, "At Bristol City, I believe I have evolved into one of the best goalkeepers in the country and deserve a chance at a higher level. Except evolution is bollocks, so I was always a good 'keeper, because God made me one, of course."

He rambled on, "I may be 34, but as it says in John 3:16 'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life'. I believe in Jesus, so going by that quote, I'd hope to have a good three to four seasons in me yet."

Whatever the outcome of God's advice, it seems that Basso will soon no longer be one of our men.